Closer To Heaven

Dear Kong,

  It’s been a week since you’ve gone back to our Creator, but it felt like it was just yesterday I was talking to you. Your voice still lingers freshly in my mind. I was taught that every man will go back to The Creator, but I never thought the day will come for you to go. I have always thought you were the strongest person alive, because you used to boast you could lift up a lorry and say: “Kong-kong kuat macam Malik Noor”. 

Kong, I’ll always try to remember your words and advise because I have seen those advises to be true. Today I’ve the opportunity to spend my own hard earned money with pride and joy because you’d always said: “Drian, belajar rajin-rajin nanti baru ada duit untuk enjoy.”  

Kong, It felt like it was just yesterday you brought me to the market to help you out. I will always remember that day because I came home smelling like your fishes. Although that was my first experience selling fishes, but it’s an experience not many children could brag about. Because noone could tell I would had sold houses years later to earn a living.

Kong, I know not many grandfathers are as proud of their grandchildren like you. I know you have been very proud of each and every one of your children and grandchildren. I remember those times you were proud of me wearing my military cadet uniform that you actually took a photo just to show your friends in your work place. You were humble but you were definately proud of us.

Kong, I would remember those days I used to tease you of your belly when I was a kid. I think I wont forget that since I have now my own to laugh at. You will always ask me if I wanted to be a pilot, and my answer was always a firm yes. Then after you will not fail to tease me that if I dont study hard I’ll fly the passenger in another direction.

Kong, I was always very comfortable with you around because I know you will always meet my needs. Everything I ever wanted you will try your best to search and buy for me. Yes I was happily spoilt by you. I will always ask when you will be leaving everytime you’ve just arrived to visit us, just to count my days I have spending enjoyable time with you.

Kong, you were very independent and thought us how not to burden others. You would always give to others even though you dont have much. You have always taught us not to fight but to forgive others even we were hurt. To help other and not hold grudges are your teaching I hope to learn and never forget.

Kong, I’m sorry I came back late. Because I never thought I would see you on the bed. I thought I could finally bring you out for a movie like you used to bring me when i was a kid. I never thought you would end up in the ward since it was just days I called to ask of you.

Kong, sorry I could hardly call your name. I couldnt find my voice and couldnt stop my tears when I heard they have given up on you. The sight of your suffering breaks my heart. My faith was too tiny to pull myself to believe that you would walk out of the ward again. But I was glad I could hold on to your warm hands and touch your forehead for the last time and comfort you reminding you of the Christ that has been there. I am relieved you gave me the chance to say Goodbye even though it was the hardest thing for me to say.

 Kong, I never thought the day I planned to bring you around with my first pay was the day of your passing. When I first got the news I was already expecting because deep in my heart I felt you have left us. I tried to put up a strong front but I was only cheating myself. The minute I saw your picture I couldnt hold my tears. It was your picture you have loved so much.

Kong,  as the eldest of your grandchildren I thought I was the strongest, but when all the younger ones cried heaven and earth I knew what we have just lost, again I could only look away to hold my tears.

Amazing Grace was my favorite song since young, but to sing it during your funeral was the saddest time of my life. I could hardly finish the song this time.

Kong, I know you will never get to read this. This is to show the world how much you meant to us. What a great man you were. This is to thank God for giving the greatest gift which is to have you in my life.

All those sweet memories stubbornly plays around me and I hope they’ll never leave me.

Kong, this will just be a temporary separation and I’ll always keep you and your teachings deep within my heart. And once again thank you for pouring your infinite love for us. We love you too…

To My Greatest Grandfather,my “Malik Noor”, “Good Night and See you in the Morning..”

Special Thanks to :

• all friends and families that have sent their condolence, although I think i didnt reply.
• Calvary Charismatic Church, Kota Kinabalu. For their ever ready support for us during this grief time.
• Tiong Hua Parlour.
• Coronary Care Unit, Queen Elizabeth for their support and care.